Fear not, dear Reader – I did not disappear under the mud at Weston Park this weekend.. I have lived to tell the tale, so here it is…

Many who know me expressed surprise that I was going to a festival. Whilst everyone knows I love live music, they also know that I loathe camping with a passion, and will go to any lengths to avoid it. So the question that usually followed “I’m going to the V Festival” was “Erm, doesn’t that involve camping?” Not thanks to my mate eBay. He sorted me out with a nice little package, including weekend tickets (no camping), two nights in a hotel, and a minibus to take us in and out of the festival each day. What a result – All the music, half the mud, none of the putting up tents and freezing to death at night!

The weekend started with the not-totally-unexpected news that Amy Winehouse was pulling out to try and sort herself out. I’d love to know what numpty decided it would be a good idea to book Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty on the same billing – Past experience should tell you that at least one of them was going to let you down! Whilst I would have liked to have seen her, if it had been anything like her second Glastonbury set, I probably would have been disappointed anyway.

So we travelled up to Weston Park on Saturday morning, leaving our nice warm bed at 6am, and heading out the door at 7am to ensure we were there in plenty of time – It’s about a 3 and a half hour journey on clear roads, but previous experience of the M6, combined with the traffic reports from the Friday of massive delays around Weston Park meant we allowed a good 5-6 hours “just in case”. As it was, we had no problems, and were at our hotel by 11am. By the time we checked in, met our minibus driver, sorted out tickets and wristbands, we finally got into the arena around 2pm, just in time to catch the end of the Goo Goo Dolls set. Er Indoors only wanted to see one song of theirs, which was just as well, as they saved that one till last!

We had been stood in persistent rain for around 20 mins by now, so were pretty much soaked through, but still excited about the 2 days music to come, so not too bothered. Plus, it looked like it might clear up!

We then headed over to the Channel Four stage to see The Cribs, who put on a blinding set. Can’t say I’ve heard too much of their stuff, but they certainly got everyone wound up. We were so wound up, we had to head back to the V Stage to listen to the dulcet tones of KT Tunstall. On the way, we managed to bump into James Avery, who joined us for a few bands, and tried to educate me on James (the band, not himself!) songs.As the crowd for KT Tunstall dispersed, we were able to get a great spot towards the front for one of the bands I was really looking forward to – The Fratellis. They are a fantastic live band, full of energy. Having tried to explain their type of music to James, they’re kinda Levellers meet Slade, if you could imagine that cross-breed… Just imagine the hair on the children lol. I’m looking forward to seeing them again in an arena, as I can only imagine how mad that would be!

We stuck around for most of James’ set (and I can now say I know more than one song!), before heading back to the Channel 4 stage, where we caught the end of Lily Allen’s set. The rain was easing by now, so sat on the grass with a beer it felt almost like we were at a summer festival.. oh wait, we were! Lily was quite entertaining, particularly when she was being ushered off the stage so they could set up for the Manics. “F*** off, I’m doing this f***ing song. The F***ing Manic Street f***ing preachers can f***ing wait five f***ing minutes more to do their hour of boring sh*t” was pretty much what she told the poor stage manager. And wait five more minutes they did…

So, five minutes late, on come the Manics. Wasting no time, they launched straight into “Australia”, and the hits never stopped coming. “An hour of boring sh*t” it certainly wasn’t – It was like a greatest hits tour , with a few of the latest hits from their new album thrown in for good measure. It was a brilliant set, they had the crowd in the palm of their hands throughout the set. A special mention must go to Nicky Wire’s mini-skirt too, which James Dean-Bradfield called “the shortest f***ing one he’s ever worn” – thankfully he didn’t drop his plectrum at any point!

So now, it was back to the main stage for the headliners, The Killers. I’m a fan, but I was a little disappointed with their set – It all felt a little clinical, like they were going through the motions, without really embracing the crowd. It didn’t help that they did the exact same set at Glasto, together with the same “interactions”. They lost massive parts of the crowd mid-way who were singing for “All these things I’ve done” throughout the second half, although they didn’t do it until the finale. They put on a show to suit their Vegas roots, but for me, it felt a bit too choreographed.

And that was just the half-way point. After an hour trying to get out of the car park, we were on our way back to our hotel. Once there, a nice hot bath was followed by spreading out on a nice big bed with nice warm duvet, watching highlights from the Chelmsford V (so basically a preview of the Sunday for us) on the TV. Given the choice of that, or trying to sleep in the mud, cold and wet with all sorts of knobbers acting like idiots all around you, I know I made the right choice.

If there were any doubts as to whether I had made the right choice in going for the hotel option, they were well and truly put to bed on Sunday. As I woke up, had a nice hot cup of coffee, watched highlights of Argyle’s 1-1 draw with Ipswich on the TV, followed by a lovely hot power-shower, and headed back in the bus to the mud-bath that was now Weston Park, I got a text from James Avery telling me that he had got back to find his tent flooded last night, and had given up, and gone home.

I really felt for James. Thankfully, most of the bands he wanted to see were on the Saturday, so he didn’t miss out on seeing any of his faves.

As we arrived around 1:30 on sunday, I found the perfect hangover cure – A Roast Beef baguette, with lashings of mustard. I think you have to stand in the rain, watching The Proclaimers for it to work though! I’m sure a few tricks were missed by the booking manager (probably the same person who booked Winehouse and Doherty on the same night) by having the Proclaimers, Peter Kay, and Matt Lucas all at the same event, but not having them perform together.

Over to the Channel Four stage we went, by now we probably could have swam across, the rain was persistent and the wind was stronger than Saturday, so by the time we got there, we were well and truly soaked, and now cold too. We just caught the end of Juliette and the Licks from the relative cover of a small elm tree.

We stayed at the C4 stage for a fantastic set by The Thrills. These guys have got a real stage presence. They interacted fantastically with the crowd, and had some top tunes. They even managed to blow away some of the rain-clouds with their performance. These guys will be headliners one day, mark my words.

A brief excursion for Doughnuts and Hot Chocolate once the rain had stopped (You can tell we were cold!), and then back to the C4 stage for The Fray, who are from Denver, Collorado. I have to point that out, as they did in between every song lol. Er Indoors liked these much more than I did – They were ok, but not quite as anthemic as they think they are – Plus they had to try and follow The Thrills.

We now flitted between a few different stages and arenas, as there was no real bands we “had” to see, so we caught bits of Glenn Tillbrook and the Fluffers, Sinead O’Connor, Kanye West, and Pink.

Now I’m not a big fan of Pink, but Er Indoors wanted to see her, so along I went. And am I glad I did.. she was absolutely fantastic.. That girl can rock! We only caught around 30 mins of her set, but I saw enough to say that I’d go and see her again.We only saw 30 minutes of Pink because I dragged Er Indoors (kicking and screaming, it has to be said!) away so we could watch Ocean Colour Scene in the JJB Arena (basically a massive marque). We should have left 1 song earlier though, as there was a massive queue to get in (and it wasn’t even raining anymore), and just as we got to the front after about 10 minutes, security stopped letting anyone else in. We had to watch the first few songs from outside therefore, and when we eventually got in, we couldn’t get anywhere near the front, or even the middle!

So we couldn’t really see OCS, but oh could we hear them? What a blinding set – all the classics, the whole tent singing along. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen OCS, but after this performance, I’ll be digging out the old CDs again and checking out when they’re touring next. Having torn Er Indoors away from Pink, she wasn’t about to miss Snow Patrol, so we had to leave before the finale of OCS (though I managed to find a vid clip on Youtube, but it’s not the same as being there!)

Back to the V Stage with us then, and the wonderful Snow Patrol. Without a doubt, they are a fantastic live band. I can’t help but feel though they were let down by the sound engineers a little. The volume seemed to go up and down mid-song on more than one occasion, and I feel they are a much better arena band than festivals. Still can’t complain though – they did all the hits, gave us all a sing-along, and left us dancing in the mud. You can’t really ask more than that!

A quick beer-run, and then a Dilemma – Foo Fighters or The Kooks? So, we did both. We caught the first 20 mins or so of the Foos, who had done a secret gig already that afternoon on the C4 stage as “606″, and then headed across to The Kooks.

We had intended to flit between the two, but once we got into The Kooks, there was no way were leaving. They were simply amazing – had the whole crowd singing and dancing for well over an hour. another band to see again if I get the chance. I’m gutted that we didn’t see more of the Foo Fighters, but who knows, I may get another chance?

So what have I learned from my first festival experience, and what tips can I give anyone thinking of going for the first time?

• Camping is fine if you like mud and roughing it. If you like your home comforts too much, then book into a hotel, and bus it in.

• Take plenty of cash. There’s massive queues for the cashpoints at V, and everything is expensive (£5 for a burger, £3.50 more if you want chips with it. I reckon we went through about £120 over the two days, and have got feck-all to show for it. Next year, we’ll be taking our own food in.

• Dress for mud. I wore walking boots, and you can see that state they were in at the top of the page. That was with a few days of fairly light, yet persistent rain. If it had been heavy rain, they’ve have been worse. Most people wear wellies, but I reckon walking boots are fine if you’re not camping – as long as they’re waterproof and comfortable, as you’re gonna be on your feet for 10 hours or so each day at an event like V Festival, Glastonbury or Sziget Festival.

• Don’t drink too much. Couple of reasons: 1. It’s £3.10 a pint, and you have to queue for ages. 2. If you drink loads, you’ll have to go to the toilets more often, and that’s not a pleasant experience!

All the photos from our weekend at VFestival are now up on Facebook.

I had an absolute blast this weekend, and have already bought my ticket for V Festival 2008 – they went on sale at 9am this morning. I’ve also reserved my hotel room for next August too – There’s no-way I’m going to be roughing it. It’s just a shame that I won’t still be a festival virgin next year – There’s nothing quite like your first time!

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